When 7-year old Kaden’s teacher noticed his bruises one morning, it set off a chain of events that mobilized local Oak Park residents into action and brought hope, happiness, and a furnished apartment into the lives of Kaden and his three siblings.
It also put his mother, Lita, onto a path of education and empowerment that gave her the skills to help her children and reunite her family.
Kaden was 7-years old when he came to the attention of the Department of Children and Family Services (DCFS) and Hephzibah after being hurt by his stepfather. His birth father was out of the picture and his stepfather had grown up in the system; like many other adult-children of abuse, he was perpetuating the cycle of violence by abusing Lita and the children.
The children were removed from their home but had weekly supervised visits with their parents; however, it quickly became apparent that the level of domestic violence between the parents was impeding the healing of the children.
When it was deemed necessary to separate the parents for their visits, things started to come together for Lita as she realized that she had to get control of her own life in order to get her children back.
She separated from her husband and with the help of the DCFS Birth Parent Council, took parenting classes and learned the ins and outs of working within the DCFS system. She became her own best advocate on her road to reunite with the children. In Lita’s case, not only did she use these resources to educate herself to reunite with her children, she now teaches classes through the Birth Parent Council, helping other parents achieve the success she reached.
And she did reach success.
As she educated herself about every single resource, agency, and charitable institution she could find, she went from having supervised visits, to having unsupervised visits, to having offsite visits with her children at least twice a week. By this time her children were spread out all over the Chicago area, from Evanston to Oak Park to even further Western suburbs. Not having a car, Lita had to make this round-trip journey on public transportation.
Her commitment stayed steady and she reunited with her children in a residence provided by A Safe Haven. But that wasn’t all. When he saw how Lita had turned her life around and how diligently she was working to reunite their family, the children’s father, Derrick, was motivated to turn his own life around.
He attended a domestic violence abuser program and successfully completed all the required sessions. Even though many participants never finish the program, Derrick stuck with it and the program sent weekly reports to Hephzibah on his progress. He learned to take accountability for his actions and turned from being defensive to a willing participant in the family’s progress as he said to the family’s case worker, “I can’t believe how I used to yell at you. I can’t believe you guys stuck with us.”
The family’s hard work paid off they were able to reunite and move into their own apartment in January 2018. “They were so happy to have their own place again,” said Dana Vykouk, the family’s Foster Care Caseworker.
But the apartment was completely empty.
There were no beds, no plates, no towels, nothing. Enter Marissa Grott, Hephzibah’s Donor Relations Manager. She posted to local Oak Park Facebook groups and email groups and within a few days, donations were piling in. People donated furniture, dishes, small appliances, clothes and toys, everything the family could need and then some. In fact, Oak Park residents donated so many items that a new problem arose: how to get everything to the family’s apartment.
“I picked up whatever I could from about 8 houses,” Dana said. “But it quickly became apparent that we were going to need a U-Haul!” With help from the Group Home Building and Grounds Manager, Rey Casillas, Dana was able to get everything to the apartment. “Everybody pulled together,” she said.
When Kaden saw the U-Haul pull up to his new apartment loaded with furniture and everything else, his eyes opened up really wide and he asked “Is all of this for us?” Dana assured him that it was, but then his eyes got even wider and he asked “How much do we owe you for this?” He was quickly comforted with the news that they didn’t have to pay for it, and Kaden started smiling from ear to ear. He wanted to help carry everything in and wouldn’t be thwarted when Dana and Rey told him that some things were just too heavy for his then 10-year old arms to lift. They gave him pillows and toys to carry in, which he did proudly.
“These kinds of things mean so much to our families,” said Julie Dvorsky, Director of Family Based Services. Even though the family’s success means that they are no longer under the direct supervision of Hephzibah, the bonds forged during this family’s growth won’t soon be forgotten. As they said to Dana, “You can’t be out of our lives, now you’ll have to visit us as a friend.”
She’s looking forward to it.